Being In Love and Actually Loving: There is a difference!

Being “in love” and loving someone are two completely different things.

For example, you might adore your child yet be “in love” with your spouse.

The state of being “in love” is linked to romance.

When you fall in love, your body releases neurochemicals and hormones that make you less rational and conscious.

Because of this, some people contend that “love is blind.”

However, truly loving someone is different because it allows you to choose love and demands your undivided attention.

In this situation, your blinders come off.

What Being In Love Means

Social psychologists have discovered that the chemistry of love and being in love remarkably impacts our cognition and behaviour.

Being in love is a euphoric, lusty, gorgeous, and frequently extremely passionate experience.

It’s a condition of being almost obsessed with your lover.

You fail to detect problems.

You yearn to be in their company and spend time with them.

Simply observing and listening to them as you go about your daily life may provide you enormous joy.

Being in love is indeed addictive.

This phase of love is typically present at the start of a relationship.

It’s a short-lived, chemistry-based infatuation.

Long-term love is built on the foundation of being in love.

Although there is no way to maintain the lust as intensely as it is during the honeymoon phase, couples who behave well in a relationship will discover themselves falling in love often over the years.

Being in love gives you energy. It is fascinating and usually done with enthusiasm.

This phase is essential for long-term connection and bonding.

The excitement can’t last forever.

Because of this, if you stay with your lover, being in love gradually gives way to a deeper form of love.

Romantic Phase

Some couples enter into long-term relationships without ever going through a romantic phase.

The advantage of going through the crazy-in-love stage is that it establishes a foundation for the long run.

When a couple returns to the in-love phase that propelled them into coupledom, they recharge and replenish their love tank.

While chemistry isn’t everything, it helps a lot during the challenging times that long-term love invariably brings.

You must be honest about why you are willing to forego sexual gratification for the duration of your relationship if you are thinking about committing to your spouse but have never experienced sexual attraction toward them.

Read: The Science of Love: Exploring the Chemistry Behind Strong Connections

Loving Someone

Your body’s chemical balance is impacted when you love someone truly.

When you see them, oxytocin is released, which causes you to establish and deepen your attachment.

The hormone that makes you want to cuddle with others, including animals, is oxytocin.

The greatest way to explain loving someone is as an emotional bond.

A hormone called vasopressin works to enhance the long-term relationship.

It becomes more grounded in reality when you love someone.

You have a close relationship with them, have faced their difficult aspects, and wholly accept them.

While there may be times when you feel “in love,” loving someone also involves a deep sense of intimacy and closeness that is emphasised by commitment.

In other words, you feel as though you can be completely vulnerable with the other person and they can be completely vulnerable with you.

Because of that ongoing vulnerability, your feelings of love and emotional attachment will only strengthen over time.

Read: How Can Forgiveness in Love Heal and Strengthen Bonds?

Differences Between Being in Love and Loving Someone

Being in love is emotionally charged, loving someone is deeper

One significant difference between being in love and being in love has to do with your feelings.

Particularly, you experience a powerful, almost imperceptible longing for the person you love.

A memorable time in a couple’s relationship is when they experience the excitement and wonder of their first love, make discoveries together, enjoy their imaginations, and look forward to sharing so much in the years to come.

A growing attachment develops into mature love.

Your intense emotions are not the result of heightened passion or infatuation but rather a deep-seated bond, whether the person you love is a spouse, friend, parent, or kid.

It’s possible that something far better—a realistic, enduring love—will come into focus once the fancies and illusions start to fade.

Read: The Importance of Self-Love in Relationships: How to Love Yourself Before Loving Someone Else

Being “in love” can fade over time, loving someone is more permanent

Deep emotions might be transitory when you’re in love.

As time goes on, intense adoration can wane, and your partner’s novelty may fade.

It’s not a given that you’ll be in love with someone you’re with today forever.

That momentary ardour eventually fades when other realities of long-term love like bills, fights, distance, ageing parents and so on start to push those illusions aside, as phases often do.

Loving someone lasts a lifetime.

You will still care for the person you love even if they irritate or disappoint you or your connection grows distant.

Love for another person is profoundly rooted, which is one of the reasons you can continue to love your ex long after you break up.

Developing a genuine love for the person you are dating and accepting them for who they are, flaws and all may do wonders for your union.

The connection develops into a dependable source of solace, emotional security, and magnificent, long-lasting joy.

You’re less likely to let each other down when you have a realistic perspective on one another and get to know one another well.

Read: Understanding the 5 Love Languages

Final Thoughts

When you’re “in love,” you believe that if that person leaves your life, everything will crumble.

Every day, your love for that person deepens, and they begin to play a bigger role in your life.

You can start to rely on his or her decisions, feel lonely without them, or even cry when they are gone.

However, just loving someone entails protecting them because you value them highly.

If that person is far away, nothing will go wrong in your life.

When partners or couples are deeply in love with one another, the roots begin to grow deeper progressively.

When things settle down, and the leaves start to fall after the first few years, all that is left is the tree, which you then realize is just one and not two.

So when being “in love” burns out, love is what’s left.

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