We won’t hold back on the obvious truth. Long-distance relationships are challenging. You might frequently feel lonely, you miss your mate, and you have no one to watch Netflix with when taking naps. Is it possible for long-distance relationships to endure? The good news is that they can prosper with frequent conversation and the occasional thoughtful gift.
In fact, a 2015 Queens University study found that distance can actually foster greater intimacy and more satisfying relationships in general. awesome, no? But it is easier said than done, just like in any other scenario in life.
What is a Long-Distance Relationship?
When both partners are not in the same city, state, or country, the relationship is considered long distance. They may have begun their relationship with frequent contact before one or both of them drifted apart for a variety of reasons, such as a change in jobs, a change in schools, a move closer to one’s parents, or a work transfer. Some people who have long-distance relationships with their partners did so after meeting them on social media, through a friend, or through matchmaking. If the distance between them is not great, they might be able to see each other frequently. On the other side, some people may go months or even years without speaking to one another. Such partnerships are difficult to maintain and call for extra effort.
Pros and Cons of Long-Distance Relationships
When it comes to long-distance relationships, there are good, awful, and really ugly aspects. In this blog post, we will discuss the pros and cons of having a long-distance relationship then you can judge whether it is wise or not to give them a shot. Are you ready? Let’s begin!
Your Connection Isn’t Purely Physical
If you’ve ever dated someone largely because of a shared physical attraction, you know how fast these kinds of relationships may end. Long-distance couples must develop excellent communication skills and work on strengthening their emotional bond because they can’t rely exclusively on physical chemistry. Popular couple’s applications may be used by some to overcome a distance in distance.
Long-Distance Relationships Build Trust
The foundation of any relationship is trust. Discussing your expectations and worries at the beginning might help to reduce the likelihood of needless heartache if you and your partner are committed to making your relationship work despite the distance. People in long-term relationships learn to respect their partner’s time while also enjoying their own alone time because the vast majority of long-distance couples are unable to stay in touch constantly. Additionally, they frequently check in with one another throughout the day, which develops a rhythm and can foster comfort and trust.
When a couple transitions from frequent in-person contact to a long-distance relationship, there is often an adjustment phase. Keep your partner and yourself in mind as you go through this adjustment.
You’ll Truly Appreciate Your Time Together
It makes it easier to cherish your time together when you do see each other less regularly. Couples that live apart are more eager for their upcoming reunion. These couples frequently value their time together deeply, making important occasions like holidays and events even more memorable. This kind of gratitude feels nice in the time and also gives you a long-lasting mood boost because being thankful is a certain strategy to make you happier!
Long-Distance Relationships Teach Patience
Many things in our world now come quickly and easily. An SMS or email can be sent, and we can typically expect a response right away. We can order groceries online to be delivered. We can purchase quick noodles, coffee, and oatmeal. However, excellent relationships require some patience, much like good coffee.
Since patience is an important life skill, long-distance relationships seem to have been created specifically to teach it.
You can handle little annoyances without getting freaked out if you have patience. It enables you to view circumstances and issues over the long term. In the midst of life’s difficulties, it helps you stay stable.
And if you ever have kids, you will need it a lot, I promise. Being patient in a long-distance relationship is more than just fostering love; it also helps you grow as a person.
It’s much simpler for misconceptions to happen when communication is solely verbal and there are little cues from body language or other social cues to guide you. Particularly harmful for producing confusion and conflicts are emails and SMS. The varying time zones can make it challenging to schedule chats if you are in an international relationship.
You Live by a Schedule
Even though I did often like talking to my partner after work every day, there were moments when I wished I could be more flexible when we were in a long-distance relationship. It can be challenging to change arrangements at the last minute in a long-distance relationship because you often need to rigorously schedule all of your video chats and facetime.
When you are in an international relationship, problems can be particularly intense because there are few opportunities for communication due to the different time zones.
Lack of Physical Intimacy
Trying to love someone from a distance might be detrimental to your mental health and general wellbeing if you value physical connection. A relationship might suffer from a lack of physical contact, especially if you or your spouse express oneself through physical touch.
The five varied ways that people perceive love are highlighted by author Gary Chapman in his best-selling book, The 5 Love Languages. Chapman explains that some people like to connect by physical touch in addition to words of praise, presents, deeds of service, and quality time. Those that use this love language find that holding hands, hugging, kissing, etc., strengthens their bond with their lovers.
There may be times when you just want your spouse to be there for you, no matter how strong your long-distance relationship may appear.
Perhaps you need a hug after having a difficult day. Maybe you’re frustrated sexually. Perhaps you’d prefer to relax and have fun in person rather than through a computer screen. When two people are far away, there is a limit to how much participation they can have.
If your relationship was once “normal” but had to change because you or your spouse had to move away for college or due to work obligations, the problem is likely to be more serious. Because it can be simple to get lured in by new environments and people, and because the “old” relationship may gradually disappear, the entire dynamic of the partnership may be drastically transformed. The difficulties in this situation can be very severe, especially for younger people.
So is it Worth it?
Yes, in a certain sense, it’s always worthwhile. Because even if the relationship ends in a breakup, you will have gained a lot of knowledge about intimacy, commitment, and yourself.
On another plane, it’s difficult to say. Because of this, when you’re in a long-distance relationship, you only have a half-baked understanding of what it’s like to date the other person.
Whether you want to be in the relationship or not, you can’t really understand it until you’re actually in it. The confined personal space between two people who have spent far too much time together is where true intimacy can be found.
Can it work? Yes, it can. Does it work? Not always. But then again, that’s true for the vast majority of relationships. And it doesn’t mean we shouldn’t ever at least try.
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