Last Updated on May 14, 2023
One of the few things in life that has the power to bring us both extreme pleasure and intense pain is love. It is the only force that has the capability of placing you in either a deep, dark hole or on top of the clouds. And it feels like we’re all still figuring things out as we go, no matter how much love experience we have.
Everything your lover does is correct when you are in the throes of great love when the world is a rainbow and a butterfly. The expression “Love is blind” refers to the fact that being in love “blinds” you to all of your partner’s imperfections.
Why are we experiencing this? Why do we behave as though love is blind and that our lover is devoid of any observable flaws? When you initially meet a romantic partner, it’s simple to ignore any warning signs or personality faults. You’re at the lustful stage of your relationship, which explains this. We typically give our partners more wiggle room when our sense of attraction is at its peak. Because the rules we have established within the relationships are distinct from one another and we have fewer of them, there is more room for them to make mistakes. Additionally, you frequently have no restrictions since you are simply delighted to be in the same room as them and to have the chance to make them happy.
Where did the concept originate?
Around the year 1401, the English poet Geoffrey Chaucer wrote Merchant’s Tale, which contains the first recorded use of the phrase “Love is Blind.” It was widely employed over time by a variety of authors and academic theorists, such as Plato and Plautus.
The saying truly took off during Shakespeare’s time. It was employed by English playwright William Shakespeare in a number of his works, including The Merchant of Venice, Henry V, and Two Gentlemen of Verona. Given how well-known Shakespeare’s works become, it is understandable why we have all heard the expression in some form or another. He completely popularised it; even Netflix joined in with their similarly named reality TV program.
There is much more to the idea that “love is blind” than merely falling in love with someone for reasons unrelated to their outward appearance. On that show, candidates are expected to fall in love with someone they have never met.
Read: Discussing Prenups: How to Avoid Conflict with Your Partner
So what does it mean exactly?
“Love is blind” refers to the fact that individuals don’t fall in love solely based on appearances or other criteria. Instead, love depends on various factors and aspects.
Many people fall in love with the flawless, seemingly perfect version of the partner they’ve created in their minds. Some even pursue the idea of falling in love, convincing themselves it’s life’s purpose and essential to find it. The desire for love is seductive.
At the beginning of a relationship, much about a person remains unknown, making it challenging for people to admit they love the actual version of their partners, including their imperfections and strengths.
It’s hard to define, so no one claims they love their partner based on who they think they are rather than their true selves. What if you hadn’t always idealized the person you were dating? You were love-blinded.
This supports the idea that developing romantic feelings and falling in love relies on having favorable illusions about your partner. Without it, people might become overly picky and constantly annoyed by seemingly trivial behaviors exhibited by their partners.
Thus, love is blind, and those in love often fail to notice their partner’s unflattering flaws. They become unaware of them and instead create an idealistic image of their spouse, focusing only on their positive traits.
Why do we become blinded by love?
If you think about it, it’s actually quite easy. We idealize the person we love because they often demonstrate the qualities we look for in a spouse. putting out our conception of the ideal partner.
For instance, we tend to lean in a certain direction when we are leaning toward an interest, choice, or want. We understand that there are some aspects of this curiosity that we just can’t help but see as positive. We dismiss any unfavorable ideas and focus solely on what we wish to see.
This idealization of the person you love could also be seen as a kind of protection mechanism, one that enables us to defend our choice to stick with the relationship we have selected. Enabling us to persuade ourselves and those around us that the person we have fallen in love with is the best spouse for us, despite the possibility that this may not be the reality.
When we make a significant purchase, like a car, house, or pricey furniture, we frequently deploy the same defense mechanism. We unconsciously read reviews that are particular to the product we purchased, dismissing any drawbacks or shortcomings as well as any superior options. We tend to ignore any drawbacks and flaws in the product we want to purchase and convince ourselves that it is the ideal good or service and that there is nothing else that can compare. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing.
This is a result of our obstinacy and rigidity. We hardly ever desire to modify our thoughts. The mind is incredibly strong and can occasionally render us completely blind.
The magic of falling in love
Positive portrayals of a partner persist throughout a relationship, from beginning to end. This is especially true in cases of love at first sight or during the honeymoon phase. Falling in love is enchanting, sparking a captivating dependency.
Initially, the person we fall in love with often fits our ideal partner’s profile. They may share traits with past partners or meet specific mental criteria. However, sometimes we fall in love without fully understanding their personality. As we learn about their habits and preferences, we keep them highly regarded in our minds.
Over time, we may discover flaws we weren’t aware of, and this is where the saying “love is blind” applies. It allows us to continue loving the person while slightly discounting and ignoring their shortcomings. For some, this could be a breaking point, but for others, it works.
Acknowledging the newfound information can help form a more accurate picture of the person and the true meaning of being in love and committed to them. This often shatters the idealized image we once held.
Ever wondered how you managed to stay in a relationship after going through a breakup? Unfortunately, it can also make us blind to excuse bad behavior. That, my friend, is “blind love.”
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