Last Updated on May 11, 2023
Being completely swept off your feet when you first meet someone can be enjoyable and exciting. It’s extremely thrilling to be showered with love and adoration when a fresh relationship is just getting started. However, love bombing is another matter.
It occurs when someone uses an overabundance of loving language, gestures, and behaviour to manipulate you. It’s frequently utilised to gain your love and trust so that someone else can accomplish their own objective.
Love bombing is a deceitful strategy adopted by narcissistic and violent people. Love bombers project an idealised version of themselves in an effort to attract someone they are romantically interested in quickly. The main objective? to boost their ego by dominating the targets of their attention.
Love bombing can happen to anyone, but it’s most frequently a sign of narcissistic personality disorder.
Most of the time, love bombing is an unconscious activity. It’s important to truly understand the other person. The narcissist generally switches gears and becomes extremely challenging, violent, or manipulative whenever they feel like they truly understand the other person and are safe in their connection. The same individual who recently had their lover in the highest possible regard will now begin to devalue them.
Why Love Bombing May Become Dangerous
During the early stages of a relationship, love bombing frequently occurs. You may initially find this individual to be fascinating and exceptionally attentive as you get to know them. This individual will lavishly compliment you, declare their love for you, and frequently exhibit an incredibly hurried emotional attachment.
Couples may also engage in love bombing after a heated argument or breakup. Giving someone a second opportunity is fine, but be wary if they insult you, then beg for forgiveness, swear not to do it again, and make too dramatic gestures like sending you five hundred roses to express their regret.
Domestic abusers frequently hurt their victims, tell them how much they love them, and use dramatic techniques to win them back in an effort to maintain the connection. The risk is that the abuser may seek control and the cycle will continue. If they continue to act abusively, you could be in danger.
Read: How Can Forgiveness in Love Heal and Strengthen Bonds?
Signs of Being Love-Bombed
Here are some examples of classic love bombing signs. If you can relate to any of these, your partner may not necessarily be toxic, but if the person wooing you seems too good to be true, trust your gut.
1. They’re intense communicators
When you’re deeply enamoured with someone new, it’s typical to communicate frequently. However, this could be an indication of tech-based love bombing if they bombard you with messages, calls, DMs, and likes. Keep an eye out for check-ins: Do they bother you when you shouldn’t be bothered, such as when you’re at work or out with friends? Do they really need to be aware of everything you do at all times? Do negative comments on virtually everything you post on social media make you feel self-conscious?
In other words, consider how you are affected by your partner’s communication style. Unexpectedly angry or edgy tone, as well as obsessive or exaggerated envy that makes you feel uneasy when you’re with other people, are all signs that something is amiss.
For instance, most partners in good relationships will react with something like, “Okay, sweetie,” when you text “Talk later!” while out with friends. Instead of demanding that you stay at home, or leaving you feeling so terrible that you are unable to enjoy yourself.
These are warning signs that your partner may be attempting to restrict your independence and isolate you through controlling behaviours if they feel offended when you enjoy yourself without them or imply that you are disrespecting them if you don’t continuously check-in.
2. Their gifts are extra
Giving gifts isn’t necessarily a negative thing, of course. But a love-bomber will make you feel obligated rather than treat you just because. Love bombers give to receive gifts because they see it as an exchange. They quantify their involvement in and value of their spouse by letting them know how much they spend on them.
Especially when the relationship is young, perhaps even after your first date, extravagant presents like a dozen roses brought to your job, pricey jewellery, exotic vacations, or even financial assistance can be an early warning of abusive tendencies.
Uncomfortably extravagant gift-giving could be a sign that someone is trying to control you by swiftly establishing sentiments of affection and trust in order to lessen your inhibitions or that they are using the gesture to instil a sense of duty.
3. They’re excessively needy and don’t respect your boundaries
At first, having a partner who is always there for you might be gratifying, and you often want to spend a lot of time together. But when it comes to love bombing, it seems suffocating. If you desire some alone time or make plans to see friends or relatives without them, they can get offended or ignore you.
You can find yourself abandoning your favourite pastimes or feeling compelled to incorporate them, all the while growing more alone on an island for two. Another method that abusers employ to draw you more into their world is to violate boundaries.
A spouse who suddenly becomes withdrawn, territorial, controlling, or violent after you communicate that boundary is another indicator that someone is attempting to take away your autonomy.
4. The relationship feels intense and unbalanced
Being at ease with someone right away might be a positive indicator, but expressing “I love you,” making arrangements to meet the parents, moving in together, or getting engaged right away all be red flags that your partner is attempting to get too close to you before getting to know you well.
Love bombing moves quickly and violently. Things will move more quickly than they ought to, which is a significant warning sign. If the feelings are not shared, this is especially suggestive of love bombing.
There is frequently a brief, passionate wooing phase in abusive relationships, which is followed by a desire to formalise and deepen the connection as soon as possible. If your friends or relatives are saying things like, “This seems to be moving incredibly rapidly,” what does it mean? Try to use the chance to ask them questions about their concerns rather than becoming defensive. It is possible they are seeing things you are blind to.
Final thoughts
Knowing these warning signs of love-bombing will help you end the relationship as soon as possible. Because if something seems too good to be true, it probably is.
Most often because they are appearing nice, abusive relationships often start out wonderfully sweet. Because of this, the bond would develop quickly and forcefully. People are going to get injured by the time they stop pretending, therefore the faster you get drawn in, the sooner they can quit.
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