What Kills Love and Attraction in a Relationship?

Human nature and evolutionary biology dictate that the vast majority of people yearn for an intimate relationship, even while some people are firmly committed to the single life. But maintaining those connections is not simple.

Given all the effort we put into establishing relationships in the first place, it would be good to have some assurance that they will last. Unfortunately, there isn’t, and when relationships aren’t nurtured and preserved, even the ones that seem to be the strongest are put in danger. Approximately 40% of first marriages end in divorce, and the likelihood of success in subsequent unions is substantially lower. Premarital partnerships have much worse statistics (boyfriends and girlfriends).

There are many different causes, just like people, but there are a few things that will kill even those who had an extremely good beginning.

1. Trust Issues

The warmth and companionship that keep relationships together depend entirely on trust. It is one of the most difficult things to obtain and maintain, though. Trust problems can affect everything from monetary decisions to emotional reliability.

There is frequently an underlying issue that was never fully addressed and resolved, such as one partner’s Las Vegas gambling binge or the inability to reach a consensus over moving to a new city. These unsolved conflicts can slowly seep into your relationship and shroud even the most routine circumstances with scepticism and doubt.

2. Focusing On Negativity 24/7

We all experience challenges from time to time, and your spouse may undoubtedly offer support, but try to strike a balance between the positive and negative aspects of your relationship. Talk about your day, let your worries and concerns out, but then take a moment to relax and appreciate your companion. It might be detrimental to your connection with your mate when you don’t make time to enjoy one other.

To share stuff with your lover is absolutely acceptable. They are there for that purpose, right? However, depending on the kind of connection you have, if you have a habit of grumbling often, it might become a little too much. You don’t need to disclose everything to your partner, but if you have to, it’s crucial that both of you feel comfortable doing so. If you just emphasize the bad aspects of your life, your partner may feel overburdened and uncomfortable. This is true for any connection; in fact, if one person just thinks negatively, even friendships can become burdened by problems.

3. Infidelity and Jealousy

While there are numerous areas in a relationship where trust can be lost, suspicion or evidence of adultery might be the most challenging. Nearly half of the relationships it affects end in infidelity, whether it is through emotional affairs or physical liaisons. Even if you decide to stay together, figuring out how to recreate what you once had is a difficult and painful process.

This holds true just as much when charges were made but no actual affair took place. Being wrongly accused might feel like a severe personal attack because discovering infidelity is such a traumatic experience, shattering trust and intimacy. It is imperative that you refrain from making unfounded charges and that you express any worries or scepticism you may have in a friendly and open manner.

Read: How Can Gratitude Help Find Joy in the Present?

4. Paying More Attention To Your Phone

It’s entirely acceptable to answer a friend’s text or respond to work emails while you’re out together because you’re both busy and have things going on outside of your relationship. But try to put your phones away whether you’re preparing dinner, watching a movie, or going on a date. Everyone wants to feel valued and special in a relationship. That can be quickly ruined by ignoring your lover in favour of responding to your texts. Put your phone aside and enjoy spending time with your sweetheart!

5. Communication Difficulties

Many couples have communication problems and frequently say they don’t understand each other. However, poor communication can cause a once-close pair to drift apart and start living more as roommates than as a couple.

You will eventually start to feel alone and isolated, and you could look for emotional intimacy somewhere else. Contempt or the propensity for every serious dialogue to turn into sarcasm and denigrating rather than healthy resolution might result from a lack of communication.

6. Falling Into A Rut

A long-term relationship’s comfort level and those nights spent cuddled up watching movies are two of its greatest qualities. But experts advise mixing things up if you want to keep things enjoyable. Consider your behaviour with your spouse at the start of the relationship if you need to increase attraction. What about dates? Have sex whenever you want during the day? Experts say you can maintain attraction for years to come if you can bring that back in a way that feels good for both of you.

Read: Navigating the Emotional Rollercoaster of Divorce

5 Ways To Keep The Attraction Fire Burning in Your Relationship

Communicate

Instead of talking, listen more. As your partner speaks to you, pay attention to what they are saying and repeat it back to them. Inform your partner of what you require of them. Tell them how grateful you are for them. Even when you’re angry, keep the lines of communication open. Put down your phone (or the book or game controller) and concentrate instead. Be courteous and sensitive when expressing your thoughts. Together, develop a shared vision of your perfect existence.

Be Faithful

Recognize that since you and your spouse are sexual creatures, other people will find you and your partner appealing. Instead of turning to someone else to solve your problems, solve them yourself. Exercise some restraint. Consider how acting on a weakness will affect your future and ask yourself if it is what you want for your future. Make time for your relationship to be intimate at least once a week. Laugh together. romance one another. Together, engage in an adrenaline-pumping activity. Make the word “love” an action.

Develop Trust

Make commitments you can confidently keep. Be present—both physically and emotionally. With no bias, respect their differences. Never assume too much about your partner. Extend your gratitude. When your partner needs some space, give it to them. Accept accountability.

Be Respectful

Be courteous while referring to your partner. Be courteous in your communication with your partner. Consider your partner’s perspective and show sympathy for them. With maturity and support, handle disagreements and difficult situations. Disagree privately, not in front of others.

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