The suffering of losing someone you love is unlike anything other. You may experience intense loss and grief after the death of a loved one. Without the deceased, you might experience sadness, rage, or even a sense of loss. There are healthier methods to accept your loss even though there is no way to avoid experiencing intense feelings of sadness. The process of adjusting to what has happened can be lengthy. Be kind to yourself and seek comfort and support from those you can trust.
One of the most difficult tasks that many of us encounter is coping with the death of a close friend or family member. Losing a partner, sibling, or parent can deeply cause us to grieve. Even though we recognise that death is a part of life, we can still be overcome by shock and confusion, which can result in protracted feelings of melancholy or depression. As time goes by, the sadness usually becomes less intense, but grieving is a necessary process to get past these emotions and keep appreciating the time you had with your loved one.
Given that most of us can experience loss and move on with our lives, humans are inherently resilient. However, some people could experience sadness for extended periods of time and feel unable to go about their regular lives. A psychologist or another qualified mental health practitioner with expertise in sorrow may be of assistance to people with severe or difficult grief.
There are a few fundamental and common steps in the grieving and grief process, despite the fact that dealing with loss can be a highly individual experience. Being able to handle your sadness after the death of a loved one can be made easier with this knowledge.
Allow yourself to feel
Many strong and unexpected emotions might be brought on by the bereavement and mourning processes. But ignoring your grief won’t make it go away any faster. In fact, attempting to do so might ultimately worsen the situation. You’ll need to deliberately confront the grief in order to eventually find a way to accept your loss.
If you feel yourself starting to cry, don’t restrain yourself. Instead of thinking you “should” feel differently, accept the feelings you are experiencing. Others might occasionally demand that you “move on” before you’re ready. However, take the time you require. Recognize that healing takes time, but it is possible. Healing does not include forgetting the deceased. It does not imply that you fail to miss them.
Talk about it when you can
Some folks want to share their loss narrative or talk about their emotions. To better comprehend what occurred and to memorialise your friend or family member, talk about the death of your loved one with friends or coworkers. Avoidance can result in isolation and interfere with your support networks’ ability to help you heal.
However, not everyone always feels like speaking. Also fine is that. Nobody should feel compelled to speak. When you don’t feel like talking, discover other ways to communicate your feelings and ideas. You are able to journal. You may also create a photo memorial, a poem, or a song in memory of your loved one. You have the option of doing this only for yourself or sharing it with others.
Know that grief doesn’t always move through stages
In her book, On Death and Dying, Elisabeth Kubler-Ross defined five stages of sorrow. Each step is distinct and need not be gone through in chronological sequence. The stages might potentially be repeated. These are the stages:
Denial. At first, your experience seems unintelligible. You may feel emotionally numb as a result of the event and find it difficult to accept that your loved one has passed away.
Anger. It’s normal to feel angry and enraged as the reality of the situation starts to sink in. This rage may be aimed at God, at yourself, at the loved one who abandoned you, at the doctors who failed to cure your loved one, or even at the self.
Bargaining. It’s not uncommon for survivors to try to negotiate with their higher power in order to deal with their loss. If you find yourself negotiating with God on the basis of “if only,” don’t be shocked.
Depression. Your intense melancholy is normal and, for the most part, won’t endure forever. One frequently has the impression that life will never be the same.
Acceptance. While the term “acceptance” is used to describe the final stage of bereavement and sadness, it actually refers to accepting the loss’s irrevocability and going on with your life. It doesn’t mean that you won’t occasionally go back through any of the stages mentioned above, but rather that you can expect your grief to lessen over time.
grief following the death of a loved one isn’t nearly that predictable. For some, grief can come in waves or feel more like an emotional rollercoaster. For others, it can move through some stages but not others. Don’t think that you should be feeling a certain way at a certain time.
Prepare for painful reminders
Your bereavement’s pain could seem more tolerable on certain days than on others. Then a reminder, like a picture, a piece of music, or a simple memory, can bring back unpleasant feelings. While it is impossible to prepare for such reminders in advance, it is possible to be ready for a forthcoming holiday, anniversary, or birthday that could rekindle your sadness. Prior to the event, discuss the best methods to commemorate the occasion with your friends and family.
Get the support you need
After a loved one passes away, adjustment takes time. And having a lot of support is beneficial. Family, friends, or adult role models in your life can offer assistance. Additionally helpful are grief therapists, support groups, and counsellors. Ask your parents, your school counsellor, or a member of your faith community for assistance in locating further support if you need it. You can assist others as well.
Even though you must feel the agony of your loss, you will eventually have to start living your own life again. Finding a means to go on with your life does not mean that your suffering or the memory of a loved one will go away. You will reach a point of accepting death as a fact if you go through overcoming the loss of a loved one. Without your loved one by your side, you will be able to accept life and go forward.
Most people take their losses with them throughout life; they shape who they are. The suffering ought to get easier to bear over time, but the memories and the affection you once had for the individual will never fade.
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