“Words are free. It’s how you use them that may cost you.” –KushandWizdom
Anger is a normal and usually healthy emotion. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Even the Holy Bible recognizes anger. Like any other emotion, it sends you a message that something is distressing, unfair, or dangerous. And you totally have the right to feel this way as you are human, and you have feelings. But you must learn to manage and control your emotions, including anger. Without appropriate anger management, you could lash out in a fit of rage. This effectively overshadows any message you’re trying to pass or undermines your reason. So, while it’s okay to be angry when you’ve been treated unfairly or wrongfully, anger becomes an issue when it’s expressed in a way that causes harm to you or other people.
It is true that, as humans, we might feel that letting out our rage and acting on them is the best way to communicate our feelings. But violence is never a solution. We have to control our actions while angry because our actions can shape people’s perceptions of us forever. It no longer matters what happened. It’s now how you reacted. They might confuse our reaction for who we are and conclude. This might, in turn, affect our relationships from work, friendship, or romantic relationships.
What Is Anger Management?
Anger management involves controlling your anger and rage. The aim of managing your anger is to lessen both the physiological arousal that anger creates as well as your emotional reactions. You can’t change what people do to irritate you. Sometimes you can’t even escape them. But you can learn to regulate your reaction to what they do or what happens around you.
You cannot make anger disappear since it is a natural response and emotion. But you can develop superior management skills.
Holding onto your rage might result in passive-aggressive actions like being nasty and harsh toward others without explaining why you are upset with them. You can manage emergencies, solve problems, and maintain meaningful relationships if you understand and communicate these feelings correctly.
Am I Not Supposed to Express How I Feel?
Yes, you definitely have to express yourself, especially when you intend to keep a relationship. In fact, it is essential that you communicate your feelings for any relationship you have with someone to survive. But you must be conscious of how you pass across your message so you won’t regret it later. You don’t want to lose important relationships and create unnecessary enemies.
When you cannot control your anger, you may say regrettable things, rage at your friends or partner, threaten coworkers, send reckless emails, develop health issues, or even turn to physical violence. Meanwhile, not all cases of rage problems are that severe. But you can also waste time dwelling on upsetting occurrences, become impatient in traffic, or complain about your job.
Also, you should know that keeping your cool does not make you a fool. Instead, it involves learning healthy and constructive strategies to identify, manage, and express your anger. This means everyone can learn how to handle their anger, and there is always space for growth, even if you believe you always have your anger under control.
Lastly, even though anger in and of itself is not a mental illness, there are some instances in which anger is linked to mood disorders, substance use disorders, and other mental health conditions. This is when it becomes unnecessarily frequent, easily triggered, and commands violent reactions.
Excellent Anger Management Strategies
Cognitive behavioral therapies have regularly been shown to be successful at managing anger in several types of research. Some state that these approaches entail working on your thoughts and behaviors as they are of the notion that your ideas, feelings, and behaviors are somehow connected to what triggers rage in you and also how you react when you are triggered.
Your ideas and actions have the power to increase or decrease your emotions. So, you have the ability to shift your thoughts and actions in order to transform your emotional state from one of anger. Having said that, let’s highlight some ways you can deal with anger management issues.
How to Deal With Anger Management Issues
We have gathered a list of helpful tips you can exercise that would help you deal with anger management issues. Check the one that works for you below:
Identify the Triggers Around You
Examine the situations or people that make you angry if you tend to lose your temper. A few factors that could make you irritable are long lines, traffic congestion, rude remarks, or being overly exhausted.
Although you shouldn’t put the blame for losing your temper on other people or external events, being aware of what makes you angry might help you make appropriate plans.
To better help you manage your stress, you might want to modify how your day is organized. Another option is to work on your anger management skills in advance of situations that you often find upsetting. You can stretch your endurance by doing these things, which will prevent you from becoming enraged or overly stressed by a single frustrating incident.
Distract Yourself and Get Busy
Anger can be fueled by dwelling on an upsetting situation. In other words, revisiting everything that went wrong during the course of your anger can keep bringing back how you felt and push you to finally react. Distracting oneself with a task can be the best approach to change your mental focus. It makes it harder for angry or negative ideas to come in by doing something that demands your attention.
Be Honest With Yourself
Sometimes, situations tend to annoy or trigger anger. But, in order to stay composed, pretend like we didn’t care, or avoid appearing weak to people involved, we tend to keep it under the dress and continually boil within, hiding the hurt. This might be a very wrong approach as you tend to lash out at any slightest provocation. And this might give a wrong impression of you.
Whenever something pisses you off, be honest with yourself, do not live in denial, and tell yourself, “I don’t care after all.” Instead, admit to your emotional state and try to put it under control if you cannot relate it to the person/persons involved at that moment. Try and put the situation past you until you can discuss it with the party or parties involved. But remember, do not be dishonest to yourself, be honest to yourself first. Only then would you be able to tackle your emotions and the others.
Know Your Warning Signs
If you’re like some people, you could feel as though your anger comes on suddenly. Maybe you switch instantly between being calm and angry. When your anger intensifies, there are still potential warning flags. To stop your rage from boiling over, you can take action by recognizing them early. Recognizing your warning signs gives you a chance to act right away and stop yourself from saying or doing things that could lead to worse issues. Also, you’ll become more adept at identifying the warning signs if you learn to pay attention to how you’re feeling.
Talk To/With Someone
It should be a benefit if you have someone who connects with you and your feelings. Just speak with that person if you feel things are too much for you to manage. Alternatively, if you think the person is not available, try talking to someone else you trust. However, it is important to note that venting can also have repercussions. You tend to become angrier about the situations if you keep venting, and it might not end well. But, there are ways you can control it, and this includes working on possible solutions to the situation or reducing your anger.
Consider Breathing Exercises and Relaxation
There are numerous different relaxation-based anger control exercises. But it’s important to choose the option that works best for you. Yes, the two popular methods for lowering tension are breathing exercises and gradual muscle relaxation.
However, the nicest part about both exercises is that they can be done quickly and quietly anywhere. So you can release stress fast and instantly, regardless of whether you’re angry at work or during a dinner date.
Take Your Time To Analyze and Think About What You Have To Say When Angry
It’s simple and so easy to say something you’ll later regret when you’re under the influence of emotion (when angry). Therefore, before you speak, take a moment to gather your thoughts. Also, permit others who are involved in the situation to do the same as well. Remember, words, once said, can be forgiven but not forgotten.
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