Does Empathy Make You Weak?

Empathy is a term used to describe a wide range of emotions.

Emotion researchers define empathy as the ability to sense other people’s emotions and imagine what they are thinking or feeling.

Today’s scholars frequently distinguish between two types of empathy, affective and cognitive empathy.

Have tears ever come to your eyes while watching a birthing video or do movies about kids with cancer make you cry?

If so, you are exhibiting affective empathy.

It refers to our sensations and feelings in response to other people’s emotions.

This can entail matching what they’re feeling or simply feeling stressed when we notice someone else’s fear or anxiety (you should probably avoid horror movies).

“Cognitive empathy,” sometimes known as “perspective-taking,” is the ability to recognize and understand the feelings of others.

For example, a friend of yours applied for a job and got called for an interview, only to be rejected at the end of the process.

You are most likely to see and understand their disappointment, offer some encouraging words, and maybe help out with the job search.

Why is Kindness Often Seen as a Weakness?

Our inclination to equate empathy with weakness is considerably more pervasive than we would think.

We perceive those who care for others’ well-being as emotionally “weak” and undervalue their kindness as strength.

Many believe that considering others’ wants and wishes somehow minimizes one’s own value.

Empathetic people, especially affective empaths, are highly sensitive and acutely aware of others’ emotions.

They can perceive what others think and feel.

They are extremely intuitive and possess a high level of emotional intelligence.

Additionally, they are the ideal friends who will always be there for you, listen to you, and care about you.

This all sounds fantastic, but there is a catch.

All of their sensitivity could take a toll on them.

Empathetic people experience others’ anguish, anxiety, and anger, taking on these emotions themselves.

Setting healthy limits for themselves is a struggle, and it is difficult for them to say no.

They prioritize others’ needs over their own, often to a fault.

They cry uncontrollably while watching movies or reading literature.

In addition, they cringe at the news, unable to bear the suffering of children, dogs, or the disadvantaged.

And they take immense delight in giving and assisting others simply because it makes them happy.

I think I’m getting carried away describing how deep empaths feel, but you get the point.

With all this sensitivity and vulnerability, it is easy for people to label empaths as the “weak ones.”

However, with the right amount of moderation, empaths can ensure that their biggest strength doesn’t become their biggest weakness.

Read: Does Money Truly Bring Happiness?

The Right Way to Show Empathy

Don’t try to take on all the pain of others

You must continually remind yourself that you are alone and responsible for your own life and happiness.

While you can sense other people’s grief and struggle, and you do all you can to help, you must keep in mind there’s only so much you can do.

You can assist them, advise them, and be there for them, but you can only assist someone willing to assist themselves.

Be sure to remind yourself that you have no control over their suffering or recovery.

You must understand that everyone has their path to take and that growth frequently occurs due to hard events and situations.

If you take on someone else’s load, it may or may not make their life easier, but it will almost certainly make yours more difficult.

Read: Being In Love: The Merits and Demerits

Setting boundaries

The hardest thing for an empath to do is establish a line between themselves and others to safeguard their own well-being.

It’s difficult for the empath to say no to certain situations because helping and caring are just how they are by default.

As an empath, you must learn to establish clear boundaries and determine where you are being of assistance and where it is already sucking the life out of you.

To practice self-care, you must learn to be a bit selfish in the most positive meaning of the word.

You must learn to say no if something doesn’t match your schedule, needs, or expectations.

Saying no isn’t disrespectful.

It’s a way of teaching others about your needs and limits.

It’s about instructing them how to treat you, and if they misinterpret it, that’s their problem, not yours.

You have the right to say no to people who use you, your help, your time, or your energy for no reason.

Read: Is Experience Truly the Best Teacher?

Don’t try to save others at your expense

This one is for both you and the person you’re trying to save.

On one hand, just because you believe someone needs to be saved does not mean they do.

They may not be ready to be saved and cannot be fixed.

They must take responsibility for their own healing and salvation.

Imagine you have a loved one who just won’t give up smoking despite being diagnosed with lung cancer.

You try to get them to help, spend your money to put them in rehab, recommend AA groups for them to join and all that, but the person just won’t quit!

Some people are wallowing in their sadness, and they will drain your energy and resources, revel in your attention, and appear to help when they really expect you to do all the effort. and that just isn’t healthy for you at all.

Sometimes, trying to save people deprives them of the crucial lessons that they must acquire on their own.

Why should people bother learning to solve their own problems if they are magically fixed by someone else?

You are not responsible for fixing, saving, or taking others out of their sorrow. The earlier you understand that, the better.

Sure, you may support and stand by them as they try to save themselves, but that’s all you can do.

You must understand that your worth is unrelated to your ability to assist and save others.

Your gift is compassion, not a one-sided effort to save someone who refuses to be saved in the first place.

Read: Why Your Mental Health Should be Protected At All Costs

Final Thoughts

Being an empath is said to be a gift, but you must make sure that it is a gift for you and others. Just as you would with a buddy, empathize with yourself.

Make yourself a priority, be available to yourself, and take care of yourself.

The amount of love and care you have in you knows no bounds.

Because you love and care for yourself, you’ll have even more to give to others — if your energy is high, if you’re not tired and frustrated from all the energy vampires who just take and take — you’ll be able to practice self-care for others who truly need it.

And that my friends are how to be empathetic without being or getting weak.

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